Welcome to this ‘Mediation Quick Tips’ Newsletter Issue 21
Safe Challenging Questions – Impartiality
It is important not to forget that while we may have acted as a mediator in many cases, this may very well be the first experience either of the parties has had of this process. They may come into the room fearful that you will take the side of the other and they will be watching out for any signs that you are partial to that person. This issue covers two techniques for asking question in an impartial way.
NOTE!
The 2nd Edition of ‘The Mediator’s Toolkit: Formulating and Asking Questions for Successful Outcomes’, published 10th June 2025 can be ordered on amazon.com or waterstones.com or on amazon.co.uk and other well known websites.
Next O’Sullivan Solutions online advanced mediation courses:
October 9, 10, 16, 17 – 2025
February 5, 6, 12, 13 – 2026
Time Schedule for all advanced mediation courses:
Irish Standard Time: / GMT: 1.30pm -5.30pm
Four half days – Live zoom course
advanced level mediator training
1. Give permission to be challenged on impartiality!
In my opening statements I always ask parties to let me know if they think I am being impartial in any way. I tell them they can let me know in a private session or in the joint session.
By explicitly inviting feedback on impartiality, this creates a sense of psychological safety for the parties. It reassures them that their concerns about the process can be voiced without fear of retaliation or bias, which, in turn, fosters trust.
It is also a subtle way of reinforcing transparency and control—letting them know they have a say in how the mediation unfolds. When people feel they will be heard, they’re more likely to engage in good faith, even if the process is challenging.
2. Use Impartial and Neutral Questions
Questions need to be asked in a neutral way so that the mediator is not perceived by either of the parties as being biased toward the other party.
One of the ways of doing this is by translating a question that may be perceived as partial or judgmental into a “both” question, if appropriate.
Example:
Mediator says:
‘I would like to ask both of you a question. I will ask you first, John, and then I will ask you, Karen. In what way might the thinking of each of you be blocking resolution?’
A problem can arise if you ask John this question first and then wait until he has responded before asking the question of Mary. Doing it this way may result in John thinking that the mediator is saying that he is the only one blocking the resolution.
Another Example:
‘I would like each of you to think about what you could have done differently that day?’
Next Newsletter
The next #MediationQuickTip newsletter focus on the communication between parties and how to use NLP tools as a means to convey information from one party to another so that a party hears a message as it was intended by the sender, the other party.
NOTE!
The 2nd Edition of ‘The Mediator’s Toolkit: Formulating and Asking Questions for Successful Outcomes’, published 10th June 2025 can be ordered on amazon.com or waterstones.com or on amazon.co.uk and other well known websites.
Next O’Sullivan Solutions online advanced mediation courses:
October 9, 10, 16, 17 – 2025
February 5, 6, 12, 13 – 2026
Time Schedule for all advanced mediation courses:
Irish Standard Time: / GMT: 1.30pm -5.30pm
Four half days – Live zoom course
advanced level mediator training
