Welcome to this ‘Mediation Quick Tips’ Newsletter Issue 12
Safe Challenging Questions – Become a Reporter!
Ensure that when you reflect back what one party says to another party that you use reporting verb so that it is seen as being impartial and will not invite defensiveness. This issue will also show the importance of using the name of a party to counteract any toxicity from the other party.
NOTE!
The 2nd Edition of ‘The Mediator’s Toolkit: Formulating and Asking Questions for Successful Outcomes’, published 10th June 2025 can be ordered on amazon.com or waterstones.com or on amazon.co.uk and other well known websites.
Next O’Sullivan Solutions online advanced mediation courses:
October 9, 10, 16, 17 – 2025
February 5, 6, 12, 13 – 2026
Time Schedule for all advanced mediation courses:
Irish Standard Time: / GMT: 1.30pm -5.30pm
Four half days – Live zoom course
advanced level mediator training
1. Introduce reporting verbs when reflecting back
When reflecting back to a party what they have said, and before asking them a question, ensure that the words being reflected back are the words used by the person who said them (Toxic language excluded). and are not perceived as being the mediator’s words
This is done by introducing reporting verbs into what you reflect back, such as:
‘‘Earlier you talked about…and then you mentioned…and after that you said you thought
that…and then you concluded…”
Example:
Instead of reflecting back to the party:
You are feeling isolated and no one will talk to you at work, and John should do something
about this?
Replace it with:
You are saying that you feel isolated and you also added that no one talks to you at work,
and you mentioned that you would like John to do something about this….
What would you need from John for this to be resolved in an acceptable way?
2. Use the name of the party
When reflecting back what one party has said before asking them a question, it is important to use the name of a party to counteract any toxicity from the other party. If a party refers to another party by saying ‘he’ or ‘she’, the mediator needs to ensure that they themselves use the name of that other party when reflecting back and in any other communication during mediation.
Example:
Party says:
‘She never follows through on what she says she will do!’
Mediator’s Reflection:
‘I hear you say that Mary does not follow through on what she says she will do?’ What do you
need from Mary?
Next Newsletter
The next issue of #MediationQuickTips – Mining the Gems – shows the importance of ensuring that parties do not miss any positive or helpful statements from each other.
NOTE!
The 2nd Edition of ‘The Mediator’s Toolkit: Formulating and Asking Questions for Successful Outcomes’, published 10th June 2025 can be ordered on amazon.com or waterstones.com or on amazon.co.uk and other well known websites.
Next O’Sullivan Solutions online advanced mediation courses:
October 9, 10, 16, 17 – 2025
February 5, 6, 12, 13 – 2026
Time Schedule for all advanced mediation courses:
Irish Standard Time: / GMT: 1.30pm -5.30pm
Four half days – Live zoom course
advanced level mediator training
